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"We do not need to be filled with love, before being able to give it away!"
- Kasey Cole Braun

Looking For Love

Love is not something we should be looking for...
We should be manufacturing our own!
Through passion for other people!
Through selfless actions!
Through repeated habits of generosity!

We do not need to be filled with love, before being able to give it away!

Do not ever expect love to be returned to you either.
For by definition love is not meant for equal exchange.
Let compassion spill forth without restraint.
Let it overflow!

The principles of karma and sowing & reaping will bring love back to you in ways you least expect. More than likely the love will return from sources other than where you invested. Serendipity!

To the person who feels unlovable, remember that is not true! Assume that others are just deficient in their capacity to love. We should take responsibility to become more productive and overflowing with the ways we express our own love.

If you are seeking someone to be in love with you, they will only let you down over time. Love can sometimes be constant, yet it will always be inconsistent. People change, moods swing, emotions flux...people are not perfect, so they are not perfect lovers.
For that long-term love we desire, look for people who are capable of massive output...examine their entire life...what else do they love? How do they regard their parents? How do they appreciate nature? Do they value animals? Do they relate to children? Do they care for those less fortunate?
The measure of a person can be found in the way they treat people who are of no benefit to them.

There is a gray area between love and lust...sometimes difficult to discern between the two...so caution to those whose focus is on the surface of things...they want instant gratification...they seek power, wealth, fame, materialism, and they struggle with commitments...their integrity lacks accountability...their relationships are casual...that is because their desire for love is determined by convenience. They only remain faithful as long as they are getting what pleases them.

There are 3 kinds of love.
Love, non-love, and anti-love.

Love : the action of giving affection regardless of the return benefit

Non-Love : the idle, neglectful, apathetic, and careless

Anti-Love : stealing, destroying, tearing people down, injuring and killing

Disposable pleasures versus meaningful pursuits.
My own observations...in every relationship there is always one person who loves more than the other. The one who loves the least is the one in control. This is every kind of relationship, lovers, family, and friendships. Why is that? Because the one who loves more is in a position of giving and overcompensating for what is missing...if the other person is selfish, then they will take advantage of that.
A truly healthy and balanced relationship will have a back and forth exchange, where one day this person is giving more, then the next day the other person gives more. Love is all about equality. Treating people equally. Equal rights. Fairness and justice. Freedom to be ourselves.
Love must also be tough! Speak the truth, even if it hurts.
Set boundaries, even if it means sacrifice and compromise!
Love is the action of laying our life down for another...that doesn't necessarily mean to die for someone, but to give up lifestyle for the sake of the other. To set aside our own needs to meet the needs of someone else. Time or money or attention.

Who is capable of that?
Most people fail at love.
Because we are selfish!
Love takes hard work and most of us are just lazy!

Saint Paul wrote this about love:
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love is not arrogant
Love is not rude
Love is not easily angered
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
Love rejoices with truth
Love always protects
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres
Love never fails

No wonder we are miserable lovers!
Look around at all the marriages falling apart.
The break-down of families.
The betrayal of adultery and heartache of infidelity!
Simply because we do not love enough.
We are all guilty of falling short to the above standard.

If you are fortunate to find love, remain in close contact with those who love you, for love is a rare gift. The treasures we find within people are more important than any earthly gain.

It's time for a love revolution!

essay by Kasey Cole Braun

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